surgery was interesting. but most everyone heard that story already....and they all know how i'm compulsively bleeding from the throat area. but that's alright. don't you hate it when you are in a super just depressed mood and you look at old pictures of you being happy and goofy and you're like.....where the hell did that go? when did i become this miserable person who dwells on a guy who isn't worth shit? when did i lose all respect for myself and my wants and needs? when did i stoop down to being with some one i love more than life....but he doesn't feel the same? in all honesty....i would rather be with some one who loves me like there's no tomorrow, who worships me and treats me like i'm queen of the world.....even if i wasn't completely head over heels for them..... it's so much better than being in love with some one who isn't in love with you. and that's what i need to come to terms with....he is not in love with me. and i need to get over that and move on.....is this possible? WE shall SEEE.

him.

how many times is it possible to go back to some one until you notice they are completely wrong for you. i can't take this anymore. i thought he loved me and i thought i felt the same. but he proved me wrong. told me how unhappy he was and how imperfect i am. yes i am outspoken but that is me. and he wants me to change? how do i change myself.? how do i change what is me? supposedly he's lowered his standards for me. i'm not pretty enough. i'm too tall. i'm fat. i talk too much. and i don't give him enough space. I SEE HIM ONCE A WEEK FOR GOD'S SAKE. i don't know what he expects me to do. am i supposed to stop eating? put weights on my head in hopes of shrinking my bones? stop talking so that i don't offend you? be for real. and get a clue. i am me. if i haven't changed thus far. i probably won't. f**k you.

Sonnet (ababcdcd cdecde)

memories are all that she's taking

of what they used to know

the future they were making

and the dreams they had in tow

darkness strangles her light

condeming her to hell in mind

comfort finds her wrapped in the night

swaying to a rhythm no ear can find

tears fall from eyes shut tight

red shimmers from wrists lined

words muffled by hands over ears

can't take another day, another fight

today she will leave it all behind

voices seem to fade as tomorrow nears

yeah

so i'm in a relationship that my other half is not happy with. i lost my best friend. my birthday's tomorrow and i want to die. i don't want to do anything. i just want to take a shower and cry. best cry you'll ever have. dueces

yesterday

in the days to come

you will fade

my strength will remain

but you?

you will fade

what i knew

what i wanted

what i would never be

all you are will fade

take with you my shame

my worries and my regrets

i am stepping forward

leaving you to fade

into what i once knew

looking back is not an option

for you will be left

to dwell in what once was

and what might be

i am moving forward

with hope and determination

and you?

well you are fading.

thoughtful

When you love someone all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of.


Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. ~David Byrne


Love is a game that two can play and both win.


Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.


The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.


Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.


You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

When love is not madness, it is not love.

Love is the poetry of the senses.

True love stories never have endings.


I have had my experiences with "love" and what I thought love was. But that cannot compare to anything that I feel around *you* or *him* for those of you who are reading this. He is that person that makes me smile through my tears, and thinks I'm beautiful despite my flaws. He knows everything about me, even those little things that you think go unnoticed. Like the fact that I hold my breath when I get scared, or that purple is my favorite color but I own little to no clothes that are purple. Is it possible for someone to know you inside out? And if they do...how do you know that they are the person you are meant to be with?

-Tati

7 months in 2 days.

Me and Danielle have made up....though I'm sure that surprises no one. I'm of course still grounded and completely bored most of the time. I haven't seen Jamar in a week or so and I'm about ready to pound on his ex girlfriend. Stupid Girl! I have to work today at 3, which I really do not feel like doing. But it's money right? I'm not feeling creative at all because half the time I'm pissed off and the other half of the time I'm busy with school, work, cheerleading, and sleep. Yeah my life is pretty much screwed over right now. I'm not even looking forward to my birtday which is in 12 days. I'm really tired of everything really. Uggghhhh. That's about all I have to say right now. Good luck with the rest of your guys' weekends.

-Tee